“They hate on Democratic candidates. And they say that they’d vote for their dog/a glass of water/a Pez dispenser if it ran against Donald Trump.”

I approach this question in terms of DnD alignments.

My first instinct is to say that, because they lack agency, I would consider dogs, glasses of water, and Pez dispensers to be neutral undecided.

But dogs are loyal animals. At worst, they are chaotic good, and many of them are lawful good.

Water is a vital ingredient to our survival. Neutral good.

And Pez dispensers bring happiness to at least a few dozen people somewhere on the planet, I have to imagine. They can’t be worse than neutral undecided.

Compared to Donald Trump — a living incarnation of chaotic evil if I’ve ever seen one — then yes, I would have to agree with your friends. Dogs, glasses of water, and Pez dispensers would all be a vast improvement over the current situation, which is not just accidentally making things worse, but intentionally doing so.

As for hating on Democratic candidates, I’ve avoided doing that myself. I don’t want to give Trump’s supporters any extra ammunition for the general election.

But then this morning I read a NYT article from January about how Joe Biden accepted $200k to give a stump speech for a Republican candidate in Michigan last year, right before the midterms, despite local Democratic party officials pleading with him not to.

So fuck that guy.